if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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