dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
People with herpes should wear stickers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
