it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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