Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
