okay pat passed out under dana's car
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have demons in me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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