blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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