i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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