I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
