he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
