They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
