love makes seman taste better
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
