If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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