Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
