Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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