i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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