jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize