Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
