Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
