You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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