Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
