I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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