yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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