U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
