I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
no, he came in my armpit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
