she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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