google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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