I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
