Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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