My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
