I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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