I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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