so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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