I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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