you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
