yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.