stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again