this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.