I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
