I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize