sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
