ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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