My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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