at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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