Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
soo... how was my night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
