And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
