Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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