bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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