Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize