Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
