I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
