Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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