after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize