Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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