Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
