OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
